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OMG!

1/15/2023

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   Have you ever had an "OMG" moment?
​
   Of course, you have! It could have happened when you burnt the pot on the stove, or maybe when you forgot an appointment, or maybe just because you are reflecting on some thought. 

Here is my "OMG" moment. This week I went to the beach and saw..."OMG!"

   It was a beautiful sun-kissed day with soft breezes, calm waters and magnificent white clouds floating overhead. There was a mixture of people comprised of senior citizens, families, and singles.

  An adorable little girl about 6 years old caught my attention. She was oh-so-carefully building a sandcastle. She was engrossed in patting the wet sand down to form her castle and suddenly she looked up with her eyes wide open. I turned to see what attracted her and, "OMG."  She was focused on a girl in her twenties, seeking her spot in the sand, and standing in front of us. You couldn't miss her, because clearly some of her bathing suit was missing!

                                              It was an "OMG" moment…her entire derriere was exposed!   

The little girl giggled, turned to her mother, and said, "Mommy, she FORGOT her bottom shorts!"  Of course, you and I know that she didn't forget.. This is the new normal as in today's world, you don't have to have a model physique.  You just have to be daring enough to let it all hang out.

   For some of us, it was a FEELING of SHOCK, for others a FEELING of EMBARRASSMENT, and then there were those that  felt the urge to SMILE.  Others said they prefer old-fashioned mystique!.

   It's our new society.  Nudity was not just invented; there are acceptable nude beaches.  A time and place for everything.  My FEELING is to remember my mother's words:
               
​                        "Check a full length mirror before you venture out and then, LIVE AND LET LIVE! "     
                                                                          OMG !

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WILLS & PROBATE, A VERY, VERY, TRUE STORY

1/15/2023

1 Comment

 
Or...
How to Disappoint Your Beneficiaries Unwittingly
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We muddle through life trying to complete a multitude of tasks.  Sometimes, we are too late as time runs out.
We think we have enough time, but it is not a given.

A woman in her eighties, we shall call her Ms. Mary, had been caring for her mother for many years.  Life was complicated and there was never enough time in the day.  When her mother died at the blessed age of  105 years of age, they had still not completed a will.  Probate was necessary and expensive, and Miss Mary swore that she would go to an attorney and do her own will so this would not be repeated at her own passing. 

Again, we muddle through and four years later, she finally contacted an attorney and had a will drawn up.  In January of that year, the attorney contacted her to arrange for payment and for her to sign the documents. She put it off, always meaning to get it done. 

She visited her only relative that she was in contact with on the first Saturday in May. This was her first cousin, Jane.  The two first cousins spent the day reminiscing as they were the only children of two sisters and had grown up together.  Now they lived blocks apart and would make many plans to spend time together.  Up until then, they were both immersed in the care of their respective Mothers.  Jane was a frequent visitor and devoted caregiver for Ms. Mary's mother, as she was her aunt and a second mother to her.  Mary and Jane had spent their lives as the only family members who shared their lives together. The rest had no interest in communicating as family.  This was true on both sides of the families.  

Two days after Mary's visit to Jane,  a cleaning service arrived at Mary's house and found her dead on the kitchen floor.  Shocking? Untimely?  Yes, all of that!  The usual arrangements were made and in time it was discovered that Mary died without an executed will and there was a house to sell.  The attorney representing Mary's step-son said that since he was not a blood relative, he was not a beneficiary.  Consequently, Jane was the only known close relative and beneficiary.  At this juncture, as advised, Jane proceeded with opening a probate process.. 

Here's the kicker!   Did you know that there are companies whose sole product to make a living, is by visiting the courts and making a list of the dead people for the day.  They then visit a firm such as Ancestry and locate relatives of the deceased  They locate these relatives and tell them if they want to inherit some money, they will provide a contract and their firm will take 25% to 35% of the proceeds.  The beneficiaries sign up with the excitement of an inheritance and are told who the long lost relative is. 

To date, there have been 6 relatives who responded, plus Ms. Jane, who are now legally correct to inherit money.  The fact that none of these 6 people have ever called, spent time with or cared about Ms. Mary or her Mother for 80 years does not matter.  Everyone is on line with their hand out.  No one thinks that although it is legally correct, perhaps after a lifetime of no contact, it is not ethical or morally correct. Nope!  Aside from the Executor, there was only one person out of the six that was supportive and engaged to bring this process to fruition. Their input was very appreciated.  Clearly, greed is a part of human nature. Everyone wants their payoff and the bottom-feeder companies take at least 25% of the proceeds. 

The law says that if their are no spouses left, or children etc., then the proceeds are divided by 1/2 going to the decedents paternal side and the other half to the decedents maternal side of whoever generationally might be left. There is a whole formula, mandated by the courts. You can look this up according to your State laws.   
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY:
   The bottom line is, people who had no association with the deceased or her Mother for a lifetime  are now her beneficiaries. Some of them she never saw, some despised her, and some chose not to be there for at least 80 years.
​   My
 FEELING is one of ASTONISHMENT at the lack of understanding of the worth of TRUE RELATION
SHIPS and how the reward system should work  from the courts.   There doesn't seem to be a value placed on family loyalty, or time spent or not spent by the beneficiaries. 
  The FEELING of ANGER comes into play, when I analyze the people who were involved.  Some of them refused to communicate with the legal team and made the process more difficult.   But there is nothing in the law books that factor any of this in.  
  How about simple COURTESY?  Some never said thank you for the hard work of the team involved.  GREED AND DISRESPECT would be my FEELING.
   A familiar song says, "it's later than you think."   This true story proves you must do your due diligence.  Have wills and estates clearly defined  so that your assets will go where you want it to. 
   Truthfully, Ms. Mary and her mom must be turning over in their graves to see where their hard earned assets wound up. It was with people who didn't care two cents for them! 

​                                          We NEVER said it was fair, just that a will was ​NOT signed!

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