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 The first meeting was scheduled, and Rachel dreaded the encounter. She entered Mr. Epstein's conference room where Michael and his attorney, John Ryan, were already seated. It was odd to be sitting on opposite sides of the table from her husband.
Michael shook his head, and then loudly said, “NO! Rachel, know this, we will sell the house when we split. And besides Rachel, I don't see how you could keep it without my support." Sol Epstein said, "John, why does your client think that he won't have to support her there? I think you should set him straight. This was a long-term marriage.” Michael continued: "I can see this is a waste of time. I'm not handing the house over to you, and I'm not spending the rest of my life paying you." Michael ranted up and down the conference room. His language was disparaging and demeaning as he addressed her. Rachel couldn't look at him. She kept thinking; this is the man that I gave my very being to for over thirty years. EDITOR'S NOTE: A 30-year marriage ending. How will they part? How will assets be split up? How will each survive, after only knowing each other for over 30 years? Can they move on?  “She was totally impassive to the obvious sexual wrong-doing. There were no feelings left, and she just didn’t care.”
“She no longer questioned his whereabouts, and thought, Let it go, the way it goes.” The popular joke was: Why did the cat get divorced? The answer was: Because he was a Cheetah! ”Weak and at her wit's end, she went downstairs in an effort to get away from his outburst. She’d then slipped and fallen in the center foyer of the house. Michael had apparently followed her; he’d grabbed her on the floor and put his hands around her throat and started choking her. Looking at his violent face, she’d lay there helplessly thinking, this is it. He will finally kill me.” EDITOR’S NOTE Rachel had held tight to the goal of raising and putting her children through school. She needed to control this. At this juncture, her twins were graduating from High School. She had put so much time in and soldiered her situation till now. Now it had turned violent. She could walk away! It was 1987. Could she upset their college dreams? She thought, “One choice might be, “Three sheets to the wind.” (No, nothing to do with being personally drunk.) That phrase has its origin in the days of “Sailing ships.” At the end of each sail, there was a cord called a sheet. If the sheet is loose, (or drunk), it doesn’t provide control. It could be tightened or loosened depending on the strength of the wind. Could she let it all go loose and let her ship go, or could she tighten it? She was all about control and garnering strength…..What will she do?
"You know, the feeling you get at the beach? It happens when you are standing in the sand at the ocean's shoreline. The waves come and you feel the undertow under your feet. It makes you WOBBLY and then the sand loosens under your feet, and through your toes. Although you struggle, it still pulls you DOWN. There's nothing to hold on to. You know…THE FEELING??? Could I be wrong? Your husband is CHEATING! Everything you ever worked for is in jeopardy. What were you thinking and where have you been?" Carol-Rose Editorial: A revelation! An explosive Chapter! Nothing is more sickening than this feeling. The beginning of the end. Back in Rachel's psyche, were her suspicions. Things she never really wanted to know, as she just wasn't ready emotionally or monetarily. Now, it was right in front of her face and could not be ignored. The worst was yet to come!
EXCERPT Mike had stood up then and pushed the coffee cup to the middle of the table and shouted, "What the hell, this is only half a cup. What's wrong with you?" Mike walked to the door repeating, "Half a cup, Half a cup! He left slamming the door behind him. Rachel had been determined to ignore her husband, but in her heart she'd thought, "Where and what was so important that he had to leave now? Where did he go?" Then, there it was, that FEELING. DISCUSSION Smoldering anger was Mike's punishment to Rachel. He masked the real reason for leaving, by using intimidation until he achieved his goal. Unimportant accusations such as the amount of coffee in the cup allowed him to storm out of the house and leave for wherever he had planned. It left Rachel confused, upset and undeserving of his rant, but enabled his successful exit.
Rachel's husband expressed his feeling with great disgust and loathing. He never gave Rachel a moment of thought as to her feelings and needs. He shot her down and closed any thought of discussion. EXCERPT: "Michael answered with equal sarcasm "Sorreeeeeey, I ruined your fun.” He then made a beeline to the bedroom, and as usual, that was that.”
 "However, that morning, she couldn't put it into words; but she had a FEELING of unrest, of uncertainty, and she was experiencing a clear unspoken warning." Discussion: We are introduced to Rachel and Michael Sanders and their idiosyncrasies. Trained from childhood not to give in to negative feelings, Rachel still knew something was wrong! Commanding attention were the flip-flops in her stomach. Was she imagining something or was this all consuming feeling the real deal? Click below to download Chapter One of The Feeling
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