Bullying

Dear Carol-Rose: 

I live in the suburbs, and my 10-year-old son is always being bullied by the boy across the street. I have been friends with the other boy's mother and have asked her to teach her boy not to do this. She said that the kids have to learn to work it out by themselves and to stop being an over-protective mother. 

My son came home yesterday and said that he has been challenged to a fight by the other boy. The other boy is 3 heads taller than my son. I was so worried, but off he went with boxing gloves to our neighbor's front lawn. All the kids in the neighborhood were attending. 

I watched from my window, and it was amazing. My son punched the big bully and down he went and started crying. His Mother came running out yelling at all the kids and took her child inside. Looks like they could dish it out, but can't take it. 

She then called me and screamed about what my child had done. I told her, they settled it by themselves, just as she wanted, but it just didn't turn out the way she wanted. I reiterated that her boy was a bully and she should teach him better. We have never spoken again. What do you think? 
​
"Over” Protective Mother 

---

Dear "Over" Protective Mother,

And why shouldn't you be “over” protective? You didn't pick him off a tree and when he is sad, you are sad. 
As hard as it was for you to watch, your son was a brave hero. Hopefully, this teaches the other boy a lesson. As far as his mother, (who you say you were friendly with) she is the one who needed to learn a lesson. I doubt she did. Keep her at arm's length, across the street. With friends like this, who needs enemies? 

The bottom line here is that bullying is harmful and creates a relationship with an imbalance of power. It is the intentional hurting, whether by mouth or brawn, of another person. Schools have taken this to heart and promote programs against bullying, stressing The 3 R's...Recognize, Respond, and Report. 

This woman was not much of a good friend, as she didn't care about your son and frankly doesn't care about her own son learning right from wrong. A safe environment for children to thrive is of the utmost importance and the first requirement of a good parent is creating this safe haven. The first lesson is to respect other people. 

Glad you asked, as the above is what I think about it! 

Carol-Rose 
Your Favorite Chatter Box